The day had finally come. We were moving back into an honest-to-goodness house after years of apartment living. But instead of waking up giddy with excitement, I was filled with stress and anxiety. I wanted this, but the anticipation of the physical pain of moving and dread of the weeks of living among boxes was weighing on me. 

That’s when my loving husband brought our two teenage sons and me together and reminded us that moving is stressful, tiring, and emotional. We needed to be patient with ourselves and each other. We needed to help, motivate, and encourage each family member. Thinking just about ourselves and our own pain would only bring everyone down, so we needed to be gentle and kind. Everyone would benefit. 

At a recent Treasury of Knowledge retreat, Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche talked about the importance of patience in the process of change. We can’t rush it, even though we are eager for our “new normal.” 

In the middle of change, we want to hurry to get to the next stage, but change is a great opportunity to slow down and see the impermanent nature of reality and to break habitual patterns. When these opportunities arise, it’s important to savor them instead of rushing through them. Rinpoche gave the example of driving a car in fog in the mountains. With fog, we have difficulty seeing in front of us, and thus it’s important to move with awareness. A poor decision could cause us to run off the road. The same is true when taking on a new career or moving to a new home. 

Take your time, enjoy the fogginess of the new experience, and be mindful about decisions that need to be made. Take this opportunity to create new, better habits and to break old ones that cloud judgment.