Have you ever had a conversation with a close family member who holds beliefs contrary to yours?

When I engage in conversation with a loved one who conveys beliefs -contrary to mine – what do I do? I could grit my teeth or become angry or…….take a deep breath and remember what?

I have learned that I can freely discuss a belief or an opinion and say – “Hey, I like this debate with you!” 

This change from contrariness to debate can relieve a lot of tension. It can allow us to relax and remember our love for each other. Otherwise, we could get into a war and be enemies and never speak with each other again. This has happened in some families, including some of my family members.

I am working on healing this by taking this new approach. To be in debate is an active and momentary / present event. On the contrary, to hold to a strict belief may keep us from opening up and allowing us to see and feel each other in the present. 

I must also be ready to experience people who adhere to strict beliefs and will not or cannot comprehend debate or discuss these beliefs.This is a most difficult situation, but does not have to end the love we have for each other, either.

When any debate or understanding is impossible in the larger world…..I must remember the loving-kindness and compassion felt with close family, friends, communities and teachers. 

By Susan Kirchoff
One of Nalandabodhi’s Karunikas, in response to the war in Ukraine

Explore More Posts

Buddhism

Celebrating Chötrul Düchen 2024

Please join NB Vancouver for celebrating Chötrul Düchen. Mitra Lee Worley will begin the celebration with online reflections on this auspicious occasion.

Chötrul means “Miracles” and Düchen means “Great Occasion.” This holiday celebrates Buddha Shakyamuni’s fifteen consecutive days of teachings and miracles, which deepened the spiritual realization and devotion of his students.

Read More >
Awakening

Introduction to Buddhism Course: The Life of the Buddha and the Spiritual Journey (offered by NB Colorado March 2024)

Are we genuinely interested in searching for the truth and deeper meaning of life? What does it mean to be on a spiritual journey? And how can we learn from Prince Siddhartha’s own journey, who came to be known as the Buddha or the Awakened One?

Our local sangha Nalandabodhi Colorado will start a new Introduction to Buddhism Course which takes us to the very heart of the spiritual path. Please join us in exploring our mind’s innate nature of wisdom and compassion.

Read More >