{"id":37713,"date":"2021-01-22T05:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-22T13:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/?p=37713"},"modified":"2026-04-22T10:05:01","modified_gmt":"2026-04-22T17:05:01","slug":"love-remains-friendship-beyond-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2021\/01\/22\/love-remains-friendship-beyond-death\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Remains: Friendship Beyond Death"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"37713\" class=\"elementor elementor-37713\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section data-particle_enable=\"false\" data-particle-mobile-disabled=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-10ea4f89 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"10ea4f89\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-row\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2b2f4cc2\" data-id=\"2b2f4cc2\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-321797f elementor-blockquote--skin-clean elementor-blockquote--button-color-official elementor-widget elementor-widget-blockquote\" data-id=\"321797f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"blockquote.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote class=\"elementor-blockquote\">\n\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-blockquote__content\">\n\t\t\t\tYogis and yoginis should be full of love while free from attachment.\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-q-footer\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<cite class=\"elementor-blockquote__author\">\u2014 Khenpo Ts\u00fcltrim Gyamtso Rinpoche<\/cite>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-21545650 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"21545650\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-text-editor elementor-clearfix\">\n\t\t\t\t<p>On the evening of March 28, 2020, my best friend died. I had met her in 2011 at a public talk of Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche in Hamburg, and we became friends instantly. A few months later, she went to volunteer at a Buddhist center elsewhere in Germany, and I came along to give a workshop on Songs of Realization. She joined me as a singer and co-director of the choir. We shared a strong bond in which a natural understanding of each other, our love for music, language, and food, a dark sense of humor, and the dharma were some of our foremost links.\u00a0<\/p><p>Then, last October, she called. \u201cIt\u2019s worse than what we thought,\u201d she said, laying out the test results. She was forty-eight and diagnosed with multiple cancers. Since the illness was recurring, she decided against chemotherapy treatment and chose to face death.\u00a0<\/p><p>When she left her apartment to move into hospice one morning, it was clear that she would not see it again. So she tried to make room 205\u2014where she shared a bathroom with \u201cMr. Thode\u201d (the name sounds like the word \u201cdeath\u201d in German)\u2014into her new home. \u201cI am so lucky in all of this!\u201d she would often say, and she really meant it. She was lucky because she had a group of seven people who would be there for her through the final stages of her life, 24\/7. But also because she knew that the \u201cdharma had her back.\u201d\u00a0<\/p><p>Spiritual friends and entire sanghas offered prayers and advice while she was fully experiencing impermanence and opening up to the direction her journey was going. This made it possible for us to be open as well. And because of that, there was room for laughter and love, stillness and meditation. Our experience was not just fear of death.\u00a0<\/p><p>Though reflecting on these experiences and putting them into words grieves me (as might be the case for any samsaric human being), there is another part of me that is not shaken. That part is closer to accepting the nature of change and is curious to learn more about what change and death really are. I am striving to come to a point of being full of love towards all and free from attachment. I have definitely learned from my best friend\u2019s death.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section data-particle_enable=\"false\" data-particle-mobile-disabled=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-3c30856 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"3c30856\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-row\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5012521\" data-id=\"5012521\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f519744 elementor-author-box--image-valign-top elementor-widget elementor-widget-author-box\" data-id=\"f519744\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"author-box.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-author-box\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div  class=\"elementor-author-box__avatar\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Kristina-Biscoff-pic-e1610920519160-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"Kristina Bischoff\" loading=\"lazy\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-author-box__text\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div >\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-author-box__name\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tKristina Bischoff\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-author-box__bio\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Kristina Bischoff has been a student of Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche since 1999. She is a professional singer, choir director, and radio journalist and lives in Hamburg, Germany. <\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The author contemplates the death of her best friend in light of the Buddhist teachings on impermanence. <\/p>","protected":false},"author":99,"featured_media":37818,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3009],"tags":[3412,3418,3405,3403],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Love Remains: Friendship Beyond Death - Nalandabodhi International<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The author contemplates the death of her best friend in light of the Buddhist teachings on impermanence.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2021\/01\/22\/love-remains-friendship-beyond-death\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love Remains: Friendship Beyond Death - 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