{"id":46574,"date":"2021-12-17T05:00:36","date_gmt":"2021-12-17T13:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/?p=46574"},"modified":"2026-04-22T09:30:13","modified_gmt":"2026-04-22T16:30:13","slug":"a-wish-for-happiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2021\/12\/17\/a-wish-for-happiness\/","title":{"rendered":"A Wish for Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When I traveled to Morocco for the first time, I expected deserts, sand, camels, the vistas of ancient cities. What I didn\u2019t expect, but have anticipated each succeeding journey, is the draw of the marketplaces. I\u2019m not really a shopper, but these vibrant spaces call to me even more than the mountains, the sea, the glorious cityscapes.\u00a0<\/p>

As my first visit unfolded, I viewed these experiences with anticipation and dread\u2014anticipation for the work of skilled hands, dread for the bargaining that must inevitably follow.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

The pattern never changes. You enter the shop, and the proprietor comes forward, not to ask what you want but to offer sweet mint tea.\u00a0<\/p>

You\u2019d assume then that they\u2019d start the transaction while you wait for the water to boil, an assistant to return with fragrant cups, but you\u2019d be wrong. Only after you drink the first cup, and they offer a second, do they ask what you like. Finding the perfect object is then a matter of discussion and debate.<\/p>

Finally, you ask how much, and they ask you to make an offer\u2014the moment I dread. If I offer too little, am I denigrating their wonderful goods? If I offer too much, am I revealing my ignorance, acting the role of the unfortunate tourist? The fear of looking foolish or selfish is a metallic taste in the mouth. The bargaining that follows is musical in its rhythms, until you settle on a price; the anxiety is a fretful counterpoint in the background, reminding you that you might be found wanting.\u00a0<\/p>

That first visit, I expected the moment to end there. I had completed my purchase, paid for it; it was wrapped, ready to go. But I was wrong. However spirited the bargaining, however certain I am that I have been too cheap or too profligate, the proprietor will ask, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d\u00a0 I will reply, \u201cYes, I am very happy; I hope you are, too.\u201d And then the proprietor will offer more tea. We\u2019ll sip and chat about Canada, Morocco, the craftsperson who created the pieces I just purchased.<\/p>

This moment transforms a bargaining session into a moment of human connection. The worry that I\u2019ve paid \u201ctoo much\u201d or bargained \u201ctoo hard,\u201d that somehow I\u2019ve exposed my ignorance, recedes. We have played a mutually satisfying game, and its fruition is the moment when both parties say, \u201cYes, I am happy.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>

I suspect we all have these moments of anxiety, of worrying that others, however unknown to us, will judge us harshly and be right in their assessment. I suspect that we, too, often judge others. I find this short practice brings the realization that neither I nor they are judges but are fellow humans, with the same challenges and anxieties.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Contemplation Exercise<\/h2>

As you sit on the subway or wait in line at the supermarket, glance at a person near you. Acknowledging your own challenges, imagine the challenges of their day and ask yourself:<\/p>