{"id":49239,"date":"2022-04-22T04:34:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-22T11:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/?p=49239"},"modified":"2026-04-21T10:21:55","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T17:21:55","slug":"editing-myself-out-of-the-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2022\/04\/22\/editing-myself-out-of-the-way\/","title":{"rendered":"Editing Myself Out of the Way"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Before I studied Buddhism, I studied writing and published a few poems. But was poetry my purpose? Would my poems really help anyone? For years those questions popped up.<\/p>

At last I landed on a use for my writing craft: editing. I could help authors produce books intended to reduce suffering. I could help make their books more engaging, giving them greater impact.\u00a0<\/p>

As the \u201cexpert,\u201d I thought I was bestowing the \u201cgood stuff\u201d on my author-clients. But I discovered that my approach wasn\u2019t always of benefit. After a tense exchange with an author I wanted to \u201chelp,\u201d the thought occurred that perhaps, after all, I was not always right.<\/p>

In his book Wild Awakening<\/i>, Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche says, \u201cConfronting ego is like confronting a friend with the discovery of dishonesty in our relationship.\u201d It\u2019s an awkward conversation but necessary. Was ego sabotaging my aspiration to be of service to authors and their audiences?<\/p>

The Surprise Inside<\/b>
I had to change my approach. With clients, I began to consciously, if reluctantly, shift away from insisting. I paused to really listen. When I loosened my favored viewpoint, something fascinating happened: I spoke gentle words of encouragement instead of criticism. And then? The author\u2019s inspiration took off in wonderful ways. Exhilarating! Could this be service?\u00a0<\/p>

It\u2019s no picnic releasing attachment. We hold on, even when it hurts. But I was determined to serve the author\u2019s purpose, and not my interpretation. The author was the expert; my job was to help them manifest their intention.<\/p>

Book after book, I bumped my head on my attachments. But those bumps brought new joy and effortlessness to the work. I stopped caring about credit and delighted in seeing the books reach people who needed help.<\/p>

Finally, I grew able to edit without the ego taking over. I appreciated my literary training but mainly listened for what clicked. Work was fun! And like meditation, rejuvenating.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Now, when an author hits an obstacle, we revisit their intention. \u201cWhat is the experience you most want people to have when they read your book?\u201d As they describe their heartfelt desire to relieve others\u2019 suffering, I fall in love with that impulse all over again. The intention to be of service isn\u2019t mine or theirs. It\u2019s ours, and we serve best when we serve together.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Stepping Back to Listen: An Exercise<\/b><\/h2>
  1. Before any exchange begins, decide to set aside your own opinion. Listen for the other person\u2019s positive intention. What are they seeking to accomplish?

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  2. When you think you\u2019ve understood, check by describing their intention in your own words: \u201cIt sounds like you want to help ____ to happen. Is that right?\u201d\u00a0<\/li>
  3. Allow them space to clarify. Keep listening and restating until they agree you\u2019ve understood their intention.<\/li>
  4. Before expressing your own view, consider how you could support theirs. Relax. Breathe.

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  5. Acknowledge that there is no such thing as perfect collaboration. But each attempt builds more meaningful connection.<\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\"Ceci\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCeci Miller\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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    Ceci Miller has been a student of Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche since 2009. She is a book editor and author. Through CeciBooks publishing consultancy, she helps authors and experts develop their work and expand its beneficial impact. A mother and grandmother, Ceci lives with her husband in Seattle, Washington.\u200b<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    An editor discovers what it really means to her to collaborate in service of a common cause, and offers an exercise to try.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":95,"featured_media":49240,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3009],"tags":[3411,3408,3418,3405],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nEditing Myself Out of the Way - Nalandabodhi International<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"An editor discovers what it really means to her to collaborate in service of a common cause, and offers an exercise to try.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2022\/04\/22\/editing-myself-out-of-the-way\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Editing Myself Out of the Way - 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