{"id":51796,"date":"2022-09-09T05:07:56","date_gmt":"2022-09-09T12:07:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/?p=51796"},"modified":"2026-04-01T09:38:35","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T16:38:35","slug":"learning-to-be-kind-to-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2022\/09\/09\/learning-to-be-kind-to-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"Learning to Be Kind to Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When I first heard \u201cBe kind to yourself\u201d I thought, \u201cThat sounds right.\u201d Nice thought. But just agreeing didn\u2019t stop my habitual grinding pace at work. I was productive but tired and cranky. At day\u2019s end I could hardly wait to sink into the couch.\u00a0<\/p>

The pattern had advantages: discipline in time management, crossing items off a list. I was willing to work hard on worthy service projects. \u201cTimes are tough, people are suffering. No time to rest!\u201d However well-intentioned my approach, it led to a bad case of burnout.\u00a0<\/p>

Then, reading Dzogchen Ponlop\u2019s book, Emotional Rescue,<\/b><\/a> I zeroed in on this guidance, so simple and direct:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe can give ourselves a little love and compassion, especially in hard times. \nOf course, we think of others, too, but we won\u2019t have much compassion \nto give others if we\u2019re not being kind to ourselves.\u201d\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Kindness to myself wasn\u2019t just a nice idea. Even in tough times, why deprive myself of kindness? How could I help others if I drove myself so hard? A relentless work ethic didn\u2019t allow space for the heart to soften. To help others, I had to give kindness to myself first.<\/p>

I began taking breaks to relax. Looking out my home office window, I enjoyed a moment of spacious awareness. Trees waving in the wind, birds soaring across the sky.

Occasionally I got up and moved around a while instead of cranking out a \u201cfew more minutes\u201d of work that might turn into hours. If I felt unwell I asked, \u201cWhat do I need?\u201d Food. Or a nap. Liberating! With a little kindness to myself, work stopped being a burden. Inspiration flowed.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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You Deserve Kindness \u2013 An Exercise<\/b><\/h2>

Only a couple of minutes of self-kindness can quickly shift our view from closed to open.<\/p>

  1. Sit up a little bit straighter. If you\u2019ve been slumping, let your back and neck stretch upward. Take a deep breath and relax.<\/li>
  2. Pause. Notice the light of your own awareness. Rest a moment.<\/li>
  3. Ask yourself, \u201cHow am I feeling?\u201d Wait for the answer. \u201cI feel like this is silly\u201d doesn\u2019t count! The answer could be \u201cI feel tired and a bit bored\u201d or \u201cI feel curious and interested.\u201d\u00a0<\/li>
  4. Now ask yourself, \u201cWhat do I need right now?\u201d Needs are universal \u2013 food, rest, respect, love, and the like. Listen for the real answer.<\/li>
  5. When you discover your need, give yourself empathy: \u201cOf course you need that. Everyone does!\u201d Add a smile of encouragement.\u00a0<\/li>
  6. Now ask, \u201cWhat could I give myself that would help fill this need?\u201d Think of something you can give yourself right now. (Not \u201ca million dollars.\u201d) Simple gestures are surprisingly nourishing: a self-pat on the back, a cup of tea, a short walk, or a few words of self-appreciation.\u00a0<\/li>
  7. Enjoy this self-nourishment. Enjoy the positive feelings that come with giving yourself appreciation and support. Wish for everyone to have this positive feeling. <\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\"Ceci\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCeci Miller\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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    Ceci Miller has been a student of Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche since 2009. She is a book editor and author. Through CeciBooks publishing consultancy, she helps authors and experts develop their work and expand its beneficial impact. A mother and grandmother, Ceci lives with her husband in Seattle, Washington.\u200b<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    When I first heard \u201cBe kind to yourself\u201d I thought, \u201cThat sounds right.\u201d But just agreeing didn\u2019t stop my habitual grinding pace at work.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":95,"featured_media":51799,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3009],"tags":[3404,3411,3408,3410],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLearning to Be Kind to Myself - Nalandabodhi International<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When I first heard \u201cBe kind to yourself\u201d I thought, \u201cThat sounds right.\u201d But just agreeing didn\u2019t stop my habitual grinding pace at work.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2022\/09\/09\/learning-to-be-kind-to-myself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Learning to Be Kind to Myself - 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