{"id":67816,"date":"2025-03-21T02:15:33","date_gmt":"2025-03-21T09:15:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/?p=67816"},"modified":"2026-03-31T09:49:04","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T16:49:04","slug":"mindfulness-and-changing-habits-from-frustration-to-party-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nalandabodhi.org\/nl\/2025\/03\/21\/mindfulness-and-changing-habits-from-frustration-to-party-time\/","title":{"rendered":"Mindfulness and Changing Habits: From Frustration to Party Time"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Mindfulness and Changing Habits: From Frustration to Party Time<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Aaargh! I did it again! My partner said something. I felt vulnerable. I escaped that feeling by getting angry and said some mean things. I hurt my partner\u2019s feelings. And now I’m angry with myself, disappointed, and discouraged. How many times have I done this, genuinely regretted it, and promised myself I would react differently?<\/span><\/p>

Will I ever learn?<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Commitment to Change<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I know that change is hard. As with so many harmful patterns, my habit of responding with anger has been built over decades. But I don\u2019t want to give up. Once again, I decide to work on this negative pattern.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

So, I set my intention. When a feeling of vulnerability shows up, I will notice it and then welcome it as an opportunity for a new response. I challenge myself to let go of self-protection and invite a feeling of excitement when I recognize unpleasant feelings. That recognition could create a truly miraculous moment\u2014when a mindful gap opens up a space for choice. I don\u2019t have to respond in the same old patterns.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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mindfulness<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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From within that gap, in that moment of awareness, I want to throw a little party, celebrating my mindfulness and the opportunity it creates for something new. At this party, I want compassion to be on the menu, especially compassion toward myself for all the times I felt\u2014in my confusion\u2014so scared and hurt. Maybe throwing myself a party will help me feel more accepting of my mistakes and less helpless. After all, if I have enough inner resources to throw a party <\/span>en<\/span><\/i> serve compassion to myself, how helpless can I be?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Maybe I can even respond to my partner\u2014after my mindful gap party\u2014with the same compassion I have just offered myself. But even if I don\u2019t, my intention will be to understand and forgive my error, reset the intention to make changes, and continue on, celebrating my repeated efforts as part of the path. <\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Contemplation<\/h2>
  • Sit comfortably in a quiet place.<\/span><\/li>
  • Think about a painful habit that you haven’t been able to let go of.<\/span><\/li>
  • Consider: What seems to bring it on? What is the first sign that it’s starting to launch?<\/span><\/li>
  • Set an intention to recognize that sign and celebrate that recognition as a seed of change.<\/span><\/li>
  • Do a little more planning. How will you respond the next time that feeling arises? And how will you celebrate your awareness? With a little whoop? By picturing fireworks? By sending yourself a party hat emoji?\u00a0<\/span><\/li>
  • Celebrate your ongoing mindfulness!<\/span><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\"Ellen\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tEllen Balz\u00e9\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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    A student of Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche since 2015, clinical psychologist Ellen Balz\u00e9 began working with the core Path of Mindful Activity team in 2018. Collaborating with other Nalandabodhi members on various projects has created precious opportunities for her to pause, relax, and reflect. She enjoys baking bread and caring for succulents.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    A mindful pause can open space for change\u2014where even noticing a bad habit can be a win. What if we threw a little party for our awareness?<\/br><\/br>Read Ellen Balz\u00e9\u2019s reflections on mindfulness, habits, and self-compassion in Mindfulness and Changing Habits.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":99,"featured_media":67817,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3009],"tags":[3404,3408,3418,3410],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMindfulness and Changing Habits: From Frustration to Party Time - Nalandabodhi International<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A mindful pause can open space for change\u2014where even noticing a bad habit can be a win. 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