A story comes to my mind: “The Key and the Light.” In this tale, a drunkard in the nighttime searches for a key under a lamppost. Someone comes along and assists him, but upon finding nothing, they inquire if he is certain he lost the key there. The drunkard replies that, in truth, the key was lost on the other side of the road, but there was no light there to search.
Where is our focus directed? Are we searching in the right place? How can we determine if our attention is aimed in the correct direction? What are we searching for?
When we are not at peace within ourselves, we experience irritability in the mind and tension in the body, among other things. In an attempt to fill or balance this emptiness, we seek external sources: sugary treats, alcohol, new possessions. We are searching for something outside of ourselves, but we don’t have a clear understanding of what it is.
We post an imprudent comment on social media or make an unnecessary purchase. When the reality of those external things never matches our expectations, we often experience regret, pain, and suffering.
That comment on social media attracts unpleasant remarks. The purchase turns out to be unnecessary, or we simply forget about it, leaving it neglected in some corner. We then resume the search for something else.
We behave the same way with our relationships. Driven by the need to fill our emptiness, our connections with other people become superficial and unsatisfying. What can we do to change that?
We can transcend our passions and focus on the journey toward our true selves. We can prioritize giving and a feeling of openness, shifting from a self-centered perspective to seeking the well-being of others.
We have all experienced a genuine friendship where our sole desire is to open ourselves up and give to the other person. This is how we return to unity. You become one with your friend, even though disappointment may arise later on because everything is impermanent.
We yearn for healthy and trustworthy relationships, but where are we directing our light? Are we illuminating a sincere connection? Are we prepared and open for it?
A circle of friends, authentic relationships devoid of personal interests—that is a sangha.
Contemplation
- Reflect on the sensations experienced when in the company of someone very dear, such as a close friend, sibling, or mentor. What does that feel like?
- Contemplate the sensations of scrolling through social media or wandering through stores. How does that feel different?
- What is the relationship of both sets of sensations? Which creates feelings of peace and tranquility?
- Finally, rest in the sensation of peace. Allow your body to be filled with this feeling, which turns into a white light radiating in all directions.
Sebastião Miranda began his Buddhist practice through a study group on Tibetan Mahayana Buddhism. He had his first contact with the teachings of Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche when Rinpoche visited Brazil in 2019. Since then, Sebá has been a member of Nalandabodhi Brazil. He is a consultant in energy efficiency projects; lives with his wife and their five dogs in the countryside of Brazil on a little farm; and is devoted to dharma.
