Taming the Mind as Skillful Means
Not committing any misdeeds whatsoever
Practicing virtue in abundance
Taming one’s mind completely
This is the teaching of the Buddha.
—Buddha Shakyamuni
“What does ‘tame’ mean?”
“It’s something that’s too often forgotten,” said the fox. “It means ‘to establish connections.’”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
A fundamental tenet of Buddhism is that everything is connected. From a certain point of view, the Buddhist path of awakening can be seen as a journey of reestablishing connections with the world, directly experiencing the unlimited interdependence of all phenomena. Why reestablish? Because we have forgotten that we are not separate, independent, lasting selves that are discrete and different from others. Instead, we deeply, vastly, and profoundly share this world with everyone, no exceptions.
Thus, the process of taming—connecting with the true nature of mind—is one of the skillful methods (upaya) of the buddhadharma.
Looking for Mind
On the relative level, we must take the time and make the space to authentically bear witness to the bare experience of mind. The magic is in the looking—and the not-finding anything. When we “see” this vibrant emptiness, all that’s left to do is simply relax without any effort.
Throughout the day and night,
Look at your mind.
When you look at your mind,
You don’t see anything.
When you don’t see anything,
Let go and relax.
—Jetsun Milarepa
Here’s my secret. It’s very simple: one only sees clearly with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
The shapes and colors of our visual field do not evaporate into the void when we directly encounter their interbeing or, from another perspective, their inherent lack of self-existence. They are vivid and bright in the open, spacious, and relaxed nature of our bare awareness. With our physical eyes, we see the relative world of appearances, and through the nonphysical dharma eye that perceives the ultimate nature, we see emptiness—both at once.
Realizing the mind’s nature through repeatedly looking at and taming our own mind is the way of Buddhism. The ground is our unborn capacity to awaken or our buddha nature. The path is taming our mind. The result is waking up or buddhahood.
Through cultivating our awakening heart through aspirations to be of benefit and by performing virtuous actions for ourself and all others, we actualize our true potential. By letting go of our bad and hurtful habits, taking on virtuous ones, and making a sincere connection by becoming familiar with our minds, we proceed along the bodhisattva path. This is what is meant by skillful means.
Skillful Methods
Here’s a trick I use to make connections and thus tame my mind: Whenever I see a plane flying in the sky, I remember my bodhisattva intention and say out loud, “May all beings be buddhas.” It’s just a small thing, and seemingly random, but it helps punctuate the predictability of my day, injecting a moment of recollection about what is most important to me.
Another method of taming that I’ve been engaging in lately is to bookend my day with dharma. When I wake up in the morning, I don’t just automatically pick up my phone and start doomscrolling as usual. Instead, I pick up the dharma book on my bedside table and read a passage or two. It’s a nice way to start the day and helps me to disrupt my habitual pattern of phone addiction while also connecting with the teachings of the Buddha as I wake up.
Likewise, at the end of the day before I turn out the light to sleep, instead of just going directly from a screen to darkness, I put my phone away and spend time again with my dharma book. This helps provide a more healthy transition to sleep and again plants seeds and cultivates my relationship with the dharma. Starting and ending the day on a dharma note has been refreshing and uplifting for me, and I encourage you to try it.
Taming the Mind
I think it’s important to note that the process of taming here is not the same as colonization. We are not trying to break, impose, or bend anything to our will. Quite the opposite: We are letting go and relaxing into the depth of our nondual experience, which could even be described as surrendering. I like to contemplate the word pioneering. Again, we are not invading or taking over the mind by force. Rather, taming is more like a bird carrying a seed to a land with rich volcanic soil that is filled with the nutrients to sustain life. If we nurture that seed with the right mix of sun and water, it will flourish.
We are the bird, the seed, the soil, the sun, the rain, the air, and the gardener. Our mind is naturally imbued with the potential to grow healthy and strong if we stop engaging in the harmful patterns that hold us back. As we calm our mind repeatedly, we can simply relax into who we always have been—awake.
Contemplative Exercise
- Find a calm, quiet space and sit in a relaxed and uplifted posture.
- Make a positive aspiration to let go of distraction, engage in meditation, and benefit yourself and others.
- Pay attention to your sensory and mental experience, but don’t indulge in labeling, judging, or perpetuating thoughts.
- Look directly at the colors and shapes in your visual field.
- Try to see where one ends and another begins, the borders that separate things.
- Let that engagement go and simply relax.
- Dedicate any goodness from the session to the well-being of yourself and all beings.
Nick Vail is a Karunika (teacher) for Nalandabodhi who lives in Maine.
A single parent, he enjoys quality time with his son, being in nature, playing the guitar, singing, dancing, and meditation.
